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about
My wonderful mother passed away on June 2nd, 2021. A little less than 2 months shy of her 60th birthday. I created this song to honor her memory. I thought it would only be fitting to release it on the very last day of 2021.
The summer following her death, it was sunny and extremely hot. There was little to no rain. I usually enjoy the summertime but grieving with intense sadness at the same time inspired the "Melancholy Sunshine" vibe and song title.
This song came together over the course of six months. The beat was started in June, the lyrics came weeks later, and the song was recorded/arranged/edited/mixed across the months that followed. The song was incredibly intense and difficult to create. A whole lot of tears shed during the various stages during the creation of it.
My mom was my biggest fan when it came to my music. She was always in the front row at every show dancing and shouting every lyric. My mom would always say "you're going to buy me a Versace dress and bring me to the Grammys" and I made her a promise that I would do so.
Although she can't be at the Grammys with me physically, I want to honor that promise and do whatever I can to get us there. This song is the start of me creating and releasing the best music I possibly can to get to the Grammys.
If you liked this song please purchase it for whatever price you'd like and share it to your social media. I know it would have meant the world to my mom and I appreciate it so much. Thank you all so much for the love and support.
Miss you and love you, mom!
lyrics
[VERSE 1]
Before crippling anxiety
And this society
Got way too outta hand you were there to hold
My hand
You always knew my plan before I was in demand
You knew I was the man before they would understand
I wanna make you proud but sometimes I don’t know how
The voices in my head keep on screaming so loud
they don’t wanna see me win, they wanna do me in
But all I wanna do is see your sun shining grin
I don’t know if I’ll be Happy the next time I hear happy by Pharrell
it was your ring tone when going through hell
Well it’s been a few years and there’s been plenty more tears
Then losing you manifested every one of my fears
2018 to 19 seemed like a never ending bad dream
2020 was bittersweet
And 21 brought defeat
It left me depleted
Wish I could delete it
But it’s speeding it to feed this
Seed that’s giving me the strength that I need and..
[CHORUS 2x]
It’ll be a while think it’ll take some time
Til I don’t see your smile in the melancholy sunshine
[VERSE 2]
Take me back when you were jamming Janet Jackson at the cabin
I was standing there laughing you were cooking and dancing
I’m happy that it happened and sad cause it’s over
I wish we were back there with none of us sober
Kanye dropped an album named after his mother the same summer I lost mine and Miss Donda if you see my mama tell her I’m fine
I’ve seen more snakes and butterflies since she died than I have in my whole life
That symbolize my mind
I just can’t seem to find out why
Not to mention all the cardinals that fly
By every time I step outside
Or go for a walk I wish I could just talk to you like we used to when one of us was blue or down
If I could only hear the sound right now of you singing Elton John so loud and proud
Saturday, Saturday or some way I could hear you say
“Hi honey I was just checking to see how you’re feeling today”
[CHORUS 2x]
[BRIDGE 2x]
I can still hear you say
Take it day by day
And you’ll find your way
Everything will be okay
[CHORUS 2x]
credits
released December 31, 2021
WRITTEN, PRODUCED, & ENGINEERED BY: Brandon "B Mc-C" McCollum
“Nūr” is a forceful introduction to Dua Saleh—a multi-disciplinary non-binary artist sure to make waves this year, and for years to come. Bandcamp Album of the Day Feb 5, 2019
